Gone from social media for 4 years. Now I am back.
In the dawn of 2019, as the digital world continued to burgeon with ceaseless updates and notifications, I found myself entangled in the web of social media. It was then that I stumbled upon Cal Newport’s “Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World”. Newport’s words struck a chord within me, unraveling the perils of our digital age and the overwhelming mental clutter perpetuated by the incessant use of social media. Immersed in Newport’s compelling manifesto, I couldn’t ignore the resonance between his insights and my own experiences. The philosophy of digital minimalism, advocating a deliberate reduction in digital consumption to focus on what truly matters, became a beacon guiding my reevaluation of priorities. The idea of a more intentional, value-driven life where quality interactions took precedence over the incessant noise of social media struck a chord.
Driven by an innate curiosity and a thirst for personal experimentation, I decided to undertake a social experiment inspired by Newport’s teachings. As an explorer at heart, I believed in trying, seeing, and feeling the impact firsthand. Could a life devoid of the constant chatter of social media truly bring about a more concentrated, fulfilling existence? Without overthinking, I took the plunge. Near the end of 2019, I bid farewell to Facebook, Twitter, and, lastly, deactivated my LinkedIn account. The decision was impulsive, yet as time passed, my feelings about this move became mixed. The void left by the absence of these platforms was undeniable, but it paved the way for introspection and newfound clarity. Before severing ties with social media entirely, I made a last call to those who wished to stay connected. We migrated our conversations to WhatsApp, forging a more intimate and intentional mode of communication. These connections, nurtured beyond the confines of a digital timeline, have endured the test of time.
What was the experience?
Initially, the absence of social media left me feeling an unexpected void, a loneliness that echoed in the silence of not having a constant stream of updates from friends and acquaintances. Yet, amidst the solitude, a certain peacefulness began to settle. No longer shackled by the never-ending scroll, I found solace in the quiet moments, rediscovering the joy of being present in my own life. Despite bidding farewell to the likes, shares, and comments, I wasn’t entirely cut off from the digital world. WhatsApp, Telegram, and Discord became my chosen conduits for maintaining connections with those close to me. These platforms, stripped of the curated perfection of mainstream social media, allowed for genuine conversations and a sense of community without the relentless comparison. I found myself living my own life, unburdened by the weight of society’s expectations. Without the constant barrage of updates on others’ achievements and milestones, I discovered the freedom to define success on my own terms. It was liberating, a revelation that I could navigate life without the constant comparison fueling a sense of inadequacy.
Intriguingly, I rekindled connections through the almost forgotten medium of emails. It was a refreshing change, a throwback to a time when communication held a certain sincerity and depth. In a world accustomed to rapid-fire messaging, the deliberate act of crafting an email brought with it a renewed sense of connection.
The void left by social media became a space for new encounters. Stripped of the virtual barriers, I ventured out and got to know people in the real world. Without the safety net of a digital profile, every interaction carried a certain authenticity.
What was my turning point?
1. We are social animal
As the days turned into months and the months into years, the absence of social media unveiled a profound transformation in the way I perceived connection and solitude. However, the turning point, the moment I decided to retrace my steps back into the realm of social media, was a nuanced realization of the intrinsic nature of humans as social creatures.
In my pursuit of understanding, I stumbled upon the harrowing experiences of loneliness and hikikomori, a term describing the phenomenon of social withdrawal and isolation. Real-life stories depicted the detrimental effects of prolonged solitude, with individuals recounting the emotional toll of being cut off from social networks. Loneliness, it seemed, could manifest as a silent, corrosive force, eroding not only mental well-being but also physical health. This exploration led me to reflect on my own journey without social media. While the initial departure had brought a sense of tranquility and focus, I couldn’t ignore the subtle yearning for meaningful connections that had become an integral part of my human experience. The dichotomy between intentional solitude and the innate need for companionship created a delicate balance that required careful consideration.
Moreover, observing my younger sister’s experience as a social media content creator has provided a different perspective on the impact of having an online presence. Witnessing her journey, I’ve seen the positive side of social media, where it has facilitated interesting connections with fellow content creators, multiple endorsements, and opportunities to share her opinions on various aspects, thus establishing her digital existence.
Have a look at my sister’s YouTube channel, and her Instagram account.
2. Shrinking past friendships and connections
The journey back into the world of social media wasn’t without its poignant moments, especially as I confronted the reality of shrinking past friendships and connections. The digital hiatus I had embraced came at a cost, and as I rekindled my online presence, I discovered that the landscape of relationships had undergone significant shifts. Reflecting on the past, I encountered instances where the absence from social media had resulted in the fading away of connections I once held dear. Long-lost friends and acquaintances had become casualties of my digital sabbatical, their updates and life events unfolding without my awareness. There were people with whom I shared laughter, dreams, and aspirations, and yet, the silence of the online void had severed those ties. Even though I managed to create new connections offline, I found that maintaining past connections became a harder task to do without social media.
What’s next?
As I navigated through this introspection, I noticed that social media, when used judiciously, could serve as a tool for fostering connections and maintaining relationships. The digital landscape, once abandoned in pursuit of minimalism, now beckoned as a platform for meaningful exchanges and shared experiences. It was not about succumbing to the mindless scroll or the pressures of virtual validation but about embracing the positive aspects of digital connectivity. I just reactivated LinkedIn account near the end of 2023.
Looking ahead, my unwavering desire for genuine connections persists. Whether you’re in Jakarta or beyond borders, the invitation remains open. If you happen to find yourself in Jakarta, let’s meet for a conversation. For those abroad, share your location, and I’ll make sure our paths cross when I visit your country. Despite the challenges posed by the digital world, the pursuit of authentic connections endures, transcending virtual confines and boldly venturing into the real.
Here is my email: vickyfeliren@gmail.com or feel free to chat through LinkedIn.
